Things that Keep Us From Feeling Sexy & Sensual in Marriage

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Photo via Visual hunt

The joys of homeownership.

He was scrubbing dog poop out of the carpet, and I was cleaning up the trash that was strewn across the yard by a skunk.

The dryer breaks and we are messaging each other at work trying to figure out how to fit the $166.00 repair into our weekly budget in the middle of a remodel, he is out of jeans, and I am out of clean underwear.

We come home to three inches of water on our bedroom carpet.

Someone left the window open and it rained on the wood floor.

The joys of children.

Is there any explanation needed.

Their constant interruption.

When the door slams open and they are educated about what mom and dad do behind closed doors.

When you have to fight to share anything intimate and private.

When they turn on the suck the life out of mom and dad vacuum and forget to turn it off.

When you are up worrying because they forgot to tell you they were spending the night somewhere.

Those first nights after they leave home and you lock the door knowing they aren’t coming home any longer.

Watching them drive off to live in a new state and wondering how you will get used to seeing them only on occasion.

The joys of adulthood.

Colds, flus, and sickness.

New jobs, lost jobs.

Bills, bills, and more bills.

Life crisis, mid-life crisis, career crisis, everything crisis.

Your own parents meddling and health.

Your siblings and the drama that has continued since childhood.

Our changing and aging bodies.

The joys of life.

It’s easier to feel sexy and sensual for a stranger. To dress up nice and go to work and start an affair with a co-worker. It’s easy to mimic the movies when life isn’t tied to it. We look and feel nice and can embrace each other with passion, but eventually comes life.

It’s amazing we feel sensual and sexy at all. There is so much clamoring for our attention and draining our energy. I often wonder how we feel attracted enough to each other to have sex at all. Perhaps the need for relief and to feel good was given to us by God to drive us to get the job done? Perhaps the animal drive for sex was meant to help husbands and wives ensure they had intimate moments in the milieu of life.

Marcy Pedersen

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