What Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting?

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting?

  1. It will be okay.
  2. At least you don’t have cancer.
  3. I went through worse.
  4. Well you got your health.
  5. If you just came to church we could help.
  6. You need help.
  7. Good riddance to him. There are better.
  8. Everyone goes through this.
  9. We can do all things through Him.
  10. This too shall pass.

There is a room with four walls, and a door.  No windows.  The room is completely dark.  Can you follow me?  You sit on a hard stool in the middle of the dark room alone.  You are unable to get up from the stool, and there is no one there to help you.

Just before you break down someone opens the door.  Alas!  There is help.  Relief.

They smile and walk towards you.  You see a glimpse of light from the door, and feel the warmth of this persons hand as they reach out to you.  Just when you thought your life was over you see their beautiful eyes, and hear their voice, and wait with anticipation for the words of comfort your soul has been longing for.

As you gaze in their eyes, they say.  It will be okay.  They walk away, and shut the door, and the darkness surrounds you again.  You are worse then before, and more helpless.  But I thought.  But I thought that Christians could help?

I thought that God was real, Jesus Christ had conquered death, and that the Holy Spirit indwells followers of the way.  It couldn’t be true if the only help they had to offer was, it’s going to be okay.  Surely a follower of God wouldn’t leave me here to rot.  Right?

Jesus Christ is the help.  He is the light.  He is the way, and He wants to be a beacon of hope to those who are hurting.  The only way to be that beacon is to get involved in the pain of others, is to open the door in their darkness, leave it open, and guide them towards the light and hope of Jesus Christ.

Hurting people need God’s Word.  God’s Word, not our words, give hope and help to a hurting soul.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is listen.  Sometimes we just need to hurt with others.  What we can do is give people balm for their soul, and that balm is the Word of God.  Ever so gently and lovingly we can speak the words of the Psalms, and lead them to the still waters of Jesus Christ, and the healing calm of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 84:11 “For the Lord God is a sun and shield the Lord bestows favor and honor.  No good things does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

Marcy Pedersen


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