A Journal of Fear: It’s Symptoms

Five years ago I met someone who would become a good friend of mine. She was also a biblical counselor, outspoken, and fearless. After spending a few days with me she looked me in the eye, and said, you have a lot of fear.

I frowned and said, no. I am not afraid. I do all kinds of things. I am not afraid to try new things or go on adventures. I am not afraid. She frowned back, and said you have fear.

Ever since then God has been revealing to me just how fearful I am. Every year He has shown me how much fear has controlled my life. Every year I think I have overcome it, and every year He shows me more.

If I am living in so much fear, then perhaps others are too. I want to help you if you are living in fear. I want to go on a journey with you where we discover what fear is, and how to rid our lives from it.

fear…..

When I over focus on a task, and it ends up looking ten times bigger than it really is.

I breath hard.
I wake up and my heart is racing.
I can’t see outside of my circumstances, at all!
I cut out all of life outside my area of focus.
I hide.
I cut off relationships. Too focused on what I am fearful about.
I don’t call.
I don’t try.
I stop.
I don’t go.
I don’t even edit documents properly. Too worried, too afraid I won’t get all this homework done. I panic. I can’t do a good job because I am overly focused, afraid and worried about getting the work done.

At the core of fear is a lack of trusting God. It’s not enough to know that. If it were I would have put off fear a long time ago, but it’s a starting place. It’s something to explore.

I trust God. Yes.
So why do I continue to fear what I can’t control?
Hmmm….something to figure out.

Even when faced with my greatest fear, it was never as hard living through it, as it was thinking about it. God has always got me through.  He provided grace when it was needed, and grace wasn’t needed when I worried and fretted about the future.  It was needed when I actually lived through circumstances.

fear….

The bible says don’t do it. I say let’s not live in it.

If you think you aren’t fearful think about the word, evangelism? When was the last time you walked up to a stranger and shared the gospel.

If you think you aren’t fearful think about the music in your car. When was the last time you played your favorite song as loud as you could knowing people might hear you?

fear….

God says to put if off, which means He has given us the tools to do so. Let’s begin by observing how and what we fear. It’s the first step to seeing how our lives are controlled by it.

Not naked, but afraid.

Marcy Pedersen

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