Sons & Their Mothers: Preparing our Sons to Be Respected by Their Wives

1 Peter 3:1 instructs wives to be subject to or respect their husbands.  After learning about this verse it dawned on me that I was raising boys who would one day be respected.  So what if I prepared them for that by showing them respect.

Proverbs 22:6 tells parents to “train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  This verse tells me it’s okay to prepare my sons for their role as husbands.

Genesis 1:27 tells us that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”  God created man and put in him the inherent desire to be respected.  As I was created to be loved, my husband was created to be respected.

My sons were created to be respected, and when we respect them, even as boys, we will build a healthy relationship with them, and build up their confidence.  They beam with a healthy pride when they know that mom and dad respect them.  So what does that look like?

  • It may mean respecting the way they want to clean their room, decorate, or arrange their room.
  • Respecting their personal taste.
  • Respecting their goals in life.
  • Respecting their time.
  • Respecting their choice of friends.  Even when they are good they can often be much different than we would have chosen for them.
  • Respecting their space.  Let them grow and learn on their own.  We don’t need to dictate every aspect of their lives.  Who are they?  What do they want to do?
  • Respecting their input.  We don’t want to make our children the center of our home, but we don’t want to listen to them, and respect their input.  My children have often brought conviction to my heart when I listened to them.

When my first son was born he was only 6 pounds.  He was so special.  After twenty one years I can still remember what it was like staring at his beautiful face, and holding him close.  I NEVER imagined what it would feel like when he left home.  My heart broke with the realization that he would no longer be a part of my everyday life.  Yet, that’s what is supposed to happen.

I married another mom’s little boy.  She did the hard thing and let another woman into his life who would replace her in many ways.  Do I respect my husband, her little boy as I should?  Not always, but I am learning.

I pray that my son finds a woman who will love him, commit to him and respect him.  I know that they will struggle, as I have, but I pray their commitment to one another lasts.

I pray that I have prepared my son to be respected.  He knows what it feels like, and it makes him feel good to get the respect God made him to receive.  You see even though I don’t alway like everything my son says or does I respect him.  I have made a choice to respect the man he is and trust that even when his choices are poor, that God will work them out.

If you have small boys I encourage you to pray and ask God to show you how to prepare them to become the man He created them to be.  Please pray that God will help you treat your husband with respect so that you can show your children how it’s done.  May they learn from your example.  They will be grown up and gone before you know it.  Seize the day.

Marcy Pedersen

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