I don’t know if I can write this in an effective enough way to demonstrate the perfect timing of God. I hope that I can. I hope that I can convince you that God’s ways are best and that His timing is perfect.
It’s most likely very amusing to God that I would share this story. I am a driven, passionate person. I become so completely focused on my goals that I literally shut out the rest of the world. This week someone asked me a simple question about something going on in our town. I have no idea. I have been so focused on my career and life transition that I don’t know what’s going on around me.
God gave me a strong desire to identify problems and come up with solutions. Once I come up with the solution there is no stopping me! I am on the scent and I don’t stop until I accomplish my goal. Yet, God often has a different solution. It’s quite annoying really. He is so insistent on doing things His way.
In the Fall of 2014 God made it clear it was time for me to prepare for a career transition. I was no longer to lead the para-church ministry I loved, but instead minister to my husband. We have new goals as we face mid-life and the empty nest, and God made it clear I was to start a career that would help my husband accomplish those goals.
To prepare for the transition I immediately turned to what I love, college. I researched degrees and colleges to attend. I met with college representatives and spent hours deciding which college and degree would be best. When I presented my findings to my husband he said no. You should hold off. Don’t run so fast to get another degree. Wait.
Telling me to wait is like telling the tide not to come in. You want me to wait? Hold off? I have the solution. This will help us. No. Wait. So I did. Which is a miracle in itself because the wife I was 20 years ago would have done it anyway, but I have learned to listen and respect my husband.
I put all my research up and put going back to college on the back burner. Then something unexpected happened. My husband started talking about taking some classes to prepare for his early retirement and upcoming career transition. So I started talking about college again. He says go ahead. Do it. Your not getting where you want to in your career transition so go back to college. You said what?
So I got my information back out and started reviewing it. Which degree, which college? I want to make the right decision. So it became time. I applied a couple months ago and decided to study finance. If I stay in my current job this degree would help, and if I move on this degree would help.
I hadn’t heard from the school after I submitted my application. I thought that’s okay. No need to rush this. I am dealing with some personal turmoil anyway so I’ll just wait and see what happens. I felt the prodding this week, however, to get things going. So I started making some follow up calls and started getting the needed paper work in. Then the God things started happening.
I learned that there are some internships getting ready to open up at my job. Going back to school now is a perfect time because it would qualify me to apply for them. A series of phone calls and unexpected things happened this week. All of it gave me clear direction. I am to get my MBA, and apply to a couple other schools. Within in a matter of hours I resubmitted my first application, and applied at another school.
There are some situations in my life that have caused me utter despair. Just when I think I have overcome them the tears start all over again. About two days ago I went into to prayer with God and just cried. Lord I don’t even know what to pray. You understand my heart. Help me.
Then two days later, and on the morning of a particularly difficult day with a particularly difficult meeting ahead, God gave me the clarity I needed to know that college was right for my career transition. He did that on this day. At the VERY moment I needed it. In a moment my heart was changed, and I could face the other circumstances of my difficult day with a renewed vision for my life. My despair was gone, and the circumstances I dreaded I now embraced.
Yet when the time came for the meeting I dreaded it didn’t happen. God worked it out so that it didn’t happen. I knew at that moment He was asking me to be obedient. When I was He worked out the rest in the way He knew was best.
You see 2014 was not the time for me to go to college, and God used my husband and my own depression and despair to keep me from going until the appropriate time. I didn’t know in 2014 that I would face this particularly difficult situation, and have a need for this difficult meeting, but God did. God knew what was coming, and He knew that now is the time for me to move on with my life.
God is so good. I don’t know what this college degree will bring, if I will stay where I am and become an intern or if God has a whole other plan in mind. I am sure that it will be a journey with twist and turns and doubts and fears, but hopefully I will remember that God’s timing is perfect! He is in control of my life and that’s a good thing. He sees all and He will bring what I need when I need it.
I do love you Father. Use me.