If I get the text from her then I will be satisfied. I can function knowing everything is alright.
Once he calls this week and I find out what he decided then my soul will be at ease. I can begin to plan my future and life again. I need that phone call first.
Once our relationship is right then I will get things done like I should.
How do we know when we desire the wrong things?
Is it wrong for me to want a text, phone call or right relationship with someone?
Is it wrong for me to want to know how people I love are doing? Where they are going and when?
Is it wrong for me to want the most important relationships in my life to be okay?
Yes and no.
It’s not wrong to want to have right relationships with people.
It can be wrong if we desire it more than God, or if it keeps us from living our lives.
How do we know?
When we have wrong desires we can NEVER get enough. We may get enough of what we want to satisfy us for a little while, but eventually, we want more.
The thing about God is, He is enough. When we are satisfied in Him, it’s enough. Our desires are satisfied, and we will only want more of Him. Apart from Him, however, we feel empty, and lost. Like we are missing something.
How does this work in real life?
I am currently in a situation that a month ago drove me over the edge. I mean it drove me to think suicidal thoughts, to despair, and utter hopelessness. I looked at the ocean, a thing I once thought as beautiful, and saw an escape. For a brief moment I thought, why not? Why not just walk in and end this. Then the Holy Spirit said, walk away. I did.
The thing I want in my life is a wrong desire. I know this because it brings me to tears, hopelessness and destroys the right relationships that I have.
Yet, I find that when I turn to God, He satisfies, and my joy and hope are returned.
It starts with confession. I can’t do this. You must. I don’t even want to change.
It continues with honest prayer. Lord, help. I don’t even know what to pray to make my heart and life right. Help me.
It continues with more prayer and more.
I read God’s word humbly, and meekly. I can barely get much of it down. One verse sends me into prayer. My heart is in such anguish that long and deep study seems out of the question right now. Yet I read and pray, Lord, help. I don’t know what is going on, but I trust you. Lord, help!
C.S. Lewis had an inconsolable longing as well. He states:
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” 20
Then we arrive at the matter, don’t we? We have a desire that no experience in this world can satisfy. The reason? We weren’t made for this world. We were made for eternity. Our soul will not be satisfied with anything other than what it was made for.
And so now I will finish writing this and go off and love God will all my heart and soul? I will smile in the store knowing that all of life is great. I will cheerfully clean the house tonight as I remember that I am doing so as unto the Lord.
No. I won’t do those things like that, yet, but I will one day. As I seek to savor Christ, and love God, I will find the satisfaction I am longing for. I will no longer let my life hinge on a text, phone call, or worldly relationship. I will look at the ocean again one day, and rejoice over its beauty, its power, and might. I will praise God for working in me, and helping me find my satisfaction in Him alone.
In need of His grace,